music in my ears and you in my heart :)

i'm scared. just scared. i'm confused. just confused. i pray you will find your way to me. i don't know what to do if my hopes are gonna break. yeah, i mean, i lost you once but i got okay. then i lost you twice and i got okay. but not really, i've never been completely without you. but i made it. and honestly i'm not, not very sure that i'll make it once more. because you are the first thing on my mind when i wake up. seeing your face, thinking about what you said makes me smile. and when i go to bed in the evening, you're the last thing i think about before i fall into my dreams. just like last saturday, i planned to go out with my girls and i really thought that you would be there at the club, too. because, i mean, you're always around when there's a party. so i was happy to see you and i really spend the whole afternoon thinking about my outfit and to do my hair, make- up and so on, you know ;) and sorry but i have to confess, i really looked gorgeous! and i felt soo good, because i was going  to see you. i thought so,  though. and when we arrived at the club, we sat next to the dancefloor. and i looked at the entry the whole time. there were some guys coming in, who looked like you and my heart bumped faster, but in the next second i realised, it wasn't you. that's the way it went the whole evening, and even if i had some drinks still could not get you off my mind. and i got upset, just because i spent my day trying to look perfect and yeah i thought that you couldn't  get your eyes off me, when i looked like that. so you weren't there. that was sad, honestly ... the next day we talked and you were so cute. 'cause we're neighbours and our families planned to spent the vacation together. you and me, the beach. sounds perfect! and you asked me, if i'd feel like doing a trip on your scooter then, also renting a boat to drive on the sea. and you know in that second i already got a picture of us in my head and it looked so amazing. but i'm not sure if you mean it the way i do. do you think " yeah, hanging around with her this summer, some fun" ? Or do you think " i'm gonna kiss her right now, because she's all i want " :D i'd prefer the second version. i'd adore it, i really do. and my heart is gonna break again, if we say goodbye after that week. but don't worry about me, you got plenty of other girls who want you as their boyfriend, i'm just another one of them . except that i know  you better than any of them, i mean i know the way you played with cars when you were ten. and i know the way you talk when you're in love because that was the way you talked to me years ago. we had it, all. and i want it back. i want you back. and i swear: if i'll ever gonna be with you again, i won't let you go ... ♥